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My Hell Hole

Discussion in 'Weblogs' started by blueberrypie, Jun 1, 2007.

  1. blueberrypie

    blueberrypie Member

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    Hi anyone,

    I am thirty years old, currently on an access course and was rejected for medicine this year. I have three children, Melody 10, Bethia 8 and Tyler 6 (she is a girl).

    I have taken the decision that it is not financially viable to go back to work (was forced to give up last time for financial reasons), I can't therefore take a gap year, as I can't afford to be out of work - catch 22.

    Therefore my only choice is to be a student... and so it all begins.

    Tonight, I am supposed to be revising hard, as I have a wonderful maths exam on tuesday. I have just got rid of the kids to their dads (he is the one who did my best mate of 18 years and got her preggers) and now (in theory) I am supposed to be revising.

    However, what am I doing??? I am sitting here, planning on how best to sort my house out. I have got to prepare it for moving at some point in the future. I have got to sell it before the mortgage company repossesses it, so I guess it has to be. I don't get a penny off of my ex. The CSA says he can't afford it now he has a new baby, so I guess that just leaves it to me to pay for the three he left behind.

    Life is a great thing, isn't it? Well, my life is going to be great, and I will show you how. Things start here in my hell hole, but they are going to get better.
     
  2. blueberrypie

    blueberrypie Member

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    Where did all of you people pop up from?

    Anyway, I have been doing some maths tonight. I am sick of it. I can't find what I am looking for in the book and I don't feel in the mood for doing it either.

    Why is maths soooooo boring? I can't stand it. I don't know what would possess anyone to want to study maths if they didn't have to. Bleeding statistics does my head in and to top it all, I have run out of cigarettes and thought it would be a good idea to get roll ups so they would last longer. Well, that is all going wrong. You can't even taste the stoooopid things. I am just getting more and more frustrated as I can't even satisfy my nicotine cravings.

    What a poxy night. Maths, math and more maths, with no decent nicotine fix. Recipe for disaster.

    Oh well, I'd better get used to it, as I am planning to give up after my exams are over in two weeks. :(
     
  3. blueberrypie

    blueberrypie Member

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    Oh my goodness. I have just thought of something.

    Melody is going to the Isle of Wight on monday. That means, she will be coming back on sunday, I only get her for one night and then she will be off the next day.

    Normally I dream of things like this, as she is a right madam, but now it is fast approaching, I think I am going to miss her loads (well maybe for a little while). Her sisters are usually lost without her for a day. I don't know how they are going to cope with a week!?!?! :eek:
     
  4. blueberrypie

    blueberrypie Member

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    Goodnight all.

    I won't be woken up by children in the morning, so I will be free to sleep until the afternoon. :D
     
  5. blueberrypie

    blueberrypie Member

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    morning all.

    So much for my morning in bed! I remembered last night I was supposed to have phoned the mortgage company with payment. I made an arrangement (the last one they are letting me have) and forgot all about it.

    So I had to set my alarm, to get up and make a debit card payment - typical! Then I have just had a phonecall from one of my girls, begging me if we can have a gerbil. Their dad's gerbils have had babies, and they are desperate for one. I have had to be mean though and tell them no, as we have three cats and although the cats have grown up with rabbits, gerbils are a different story and I am pretty sure they will get it.

    I know these poxy things escape every now and again - I have had enough hamsters, mice and gerbils, myself - so the answer had to be NO.

    As I didn't get my nice lie in, I think I may have to take a nice mid-afternoon nap. I am like a child there... I love my sleep. For now though, I think it is back to the maths assignment that was due in weeks ago. It will also help as revision for the exam on tuesday.

    See you later.

    Sally. x
     
  6. blueberrypie

    blueberrypie Member

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    The postman has just been. What a cheek. Someone has sent me a letter and hasn't paid the correct postage, so I have got to pay £1.24 for it. I don't even know what the letter is, what if it is something I don't want like a bill? That would be just my luck. Well they are open to 12.30pm, so I think I might pop down there and see what it is all about.
     
  7. blueberrypie

    blueberrypie Member

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    What a bloody cheek. The letter that cost me £1.24 was a letter from the council tax. If I had known that, I wouldn't have bothered paying for it. How rude!!! As if they don't charge enough for their council tax as it is, without me having to pay to receive their letters.

    Well, I will be sure to complain to them on monday.

    Oh my, I have my chemistry tuition on monday. :D I am looking forward to this. My chemistry teacher is lovely. He is a little old man with a heart of gold and he is giving me and my friend Lauren a bit of help with our chemistry before the exam the week after this - and he isn't even charging us.

    Bless 'im. I hope I am as generous with my knowledge when I get anywhere in life.
     
  8. blueberrypie

    blueberrypie Member

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    Right. I have a headache now, and have just taken some pills and a well deserved nicotine break. Maths is killing me and I have actually got real fags now that I can taste. I am stressed, bored (somehow although not quite sure how when I have ****loads to do) and I am using this blog to relieve some of my anxiety.

    I haven't even managed to grasp the concept that my children aren't home until tomorrow, so how am I meant to grasp the concept of mathematics.

    I hate algebra and statistics and everything else maths related. :(
     
  9. blueberrypie

    blueberrypie Member

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    Oh my.... I have been waiting ages for this to happen. Most of you won't understand what I mean, but I have been waiting eagerly for this to happen.

    Over a week ago, I was made an offer for the Chemistry with Biochemistry course at Queen Mary's. However, despite being sent a letter from the department detailing my offer, their admissions department had not at that time received notification and could not put it on track.

    Well, I didn't check track last night, however, I went to it today and it was down for some reason or another, so I couldn't check. However during one of my many fag breaks (just an excuse really to leave the maths), I checked my emails and got a notification from UCAS. When I logged in, it told me it was awaiting my decision... and it was finally ON THERE :D :D :D

    I can't tell you how happy I am. It was obviously not my first choice of course, as I really wanted to do medicine, but I am happy I have got another course I am really interested in.

    I have just got to hope I can make it through, so I can make it onto graduate medicine. :D

    No more calls from the girls as yet, so the day has just been mildly stressful, however, now I have the notification, I feel full of energy and ready for anything... So it is on with the maths.
     
  10. blueberrypie

    blueberrypie Member

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    Well all of my hard work has reached an end. I am stuck on one question and don't know how to do it. Bethia phoned me again a little while ago to let me know the incredible hulk was on (cos I am sure I was really interested). I think she must be really bored. I bet she has been calling my mum too. She did that one morning when I must have been in bed. Neglected you see. She feels the need to phone everyone when no one is giving her attention. I can see phone bills are going to be expensive when this child is older. Luckily she is only on her pay as you go at the moment.

    If anyone is good at maths, PM me please. I might need your help. I don't know how to work out the Geometric Progression for infinity.

    :D Sally. x
     
  11. blueberrypie

    blueberrypie Member

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    I am soooo stooopid. The answer was right all along in my maths. It just didn't look right. What a tw*t. Sorry.
     
  12. blueberrypie

    blueberrypie Member

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    I am back again. I have made quite alot of posts since last night. I guess that would be because I am bored (aren't I BTLWO? - he was ignoring me). However, I really am bored now, because I don't know what to do, two pints isn't on tonight and I can't be bothered with homework.

    I can't wait until the exams are over in two weeks.

    Although I will have to think of something to do with myself. I am thinking of joining the gym. That will be cool. I am so looking forward to freedom... well at least until september/october.
     
  13. blueberrypie

    blueberrypie Member

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    What a day!

    Firstly I had to take Bethia's leotard up to the gym for her, but her dad was late and I had to wait, so as I was up there anyway, I decided to stay and watch as I was there. They are working on a new floor routine, so I don't know if there is something coming up soon.

    Then I got home and have gone on a mad painting spree. I love painting, I do get bored after a while but for now I am loving it. It always looks so good. However, I only tend to do it when I am moving, so I don't get to enjoy it much.

    I was only teasing about BTLWO by the way in my last post. We usually chat on msn, but he had vanished for a couple of days.

    Anyway, back to the task in hand... PAINTING :D ... and tidying :(
     
  14. blueberrypie

    blueberrypie Member

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    well I am back. I have finished painting and tidying. I have now got the girls back, which despite their arguments and squabbling is quite nice.

    I have now got to pack Melody's suitcase for the Isle of Wight. She is going with school and I have got to get her to the school by 8.15am. What an awful time to have to have someone ready to go on a trip. I have also got to do her a packed lunch before she goes... :(

    Oh well *sighs* I suppose I had better get on with the packing. Then me and my friend can carry on with our exercises. I have got three years now, to make sure my body is well toned, so when I am a medical student and we have to practise on each other, I will have a solid muscular stomach. :D

    Anyway, back to the grindstone.
     
  15. blueberrypie

    blueberrypie Member

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    Hey ho!

    Packing finally finished and off to bed we go...

    Only have to wake up super early now (in the morning) to take her to school and wave her goodbye. Then after taking the kids to school, I can go off for my chemistry lesson and get back to revise some maths for the exam on tuesday.

    What a great life. :D
     
  16. blueberrypie

    blueberrypie Member

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    I am tired. I want to go to bed, but I am seeing if I can get my post count up to 500. I have set myself a target for before bedtime.

    Lets see if I can do it.
     
  17. blueberrypie

    blueberrypie Member

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    Right, I am bored now. This is post number 499.
     
  18. blueberrypie

    blueberrypie Member

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    Now this is post number 500 and I am off to bed as I am physically exhausted and have answered any available post I can.

    Goodnight all and god bless.
     
  19. blueberrypie

    blueberrypie Member

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    But, wey hey!!!

    I am a senior member now!!! :D
     
  20. blueberrypie

    blueberrypie Member

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    No, no special treatment. I just means I am wonderful... and spent many hours last night, working out what to write on what posts. :D

    What is the next milestone??? A thousand or ten thousand?
     

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